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Thread: Funnies Thread - What you got ? (NSFW R rated)

  1. #3301
    AVF Regular
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    Jan 2015
    Location
    N/E Vic
    Posts
    1,757
    An Irish pastrychef.
    Phil O'Pastry.
    Vote 1. The Informal Party

    Killed the nails before they killed me. 10/02/15 Thanks immensely to AVFers!

  2. #3302
    AVF Regular
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    Sydney (or lurking in the shadows behind you)
    Posts
    2,294
    FaceBook Vid
    Havana (cover)
    I Do Whatever I Want,
    Whenever I Want,
    And If It Doesn't Suit You,
    Go Start Your Own Empire

    Anything I write on AVF is purely my opinion and should never be read as fact!
    (or I could just be wrong)
    Please read the AVF rules: http://forums.aussievapers.com/forum...ions-bans.html
    (or wait for Johnny Depp to do the movie)
    Small reminder
    It's all about the cigartte ... Stupid


  3. #3303
    AVF Regular
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    Jan 2015
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    N/E Vic
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    1,757
    Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?

    A: Nothing, the bastard won't come to you anyway.

    Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?

    A: Right where you left the bastard.
    Vote 1. The Informal Party

    Killed the nails before they killed me. 10/02/15 Thanks immensely to AVFers!

  4. #3304
    AVF Regular
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    Jan 2014
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    victoria
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    Showed this tot he midget snidley - she was furious and wouldnt talk to me for an hour after I showed her cause its her favorite song for the moment - A truly dastardly post


    Dunno if these jokes have been posted






















    Quote Originally Posted by Snidely_Whiplash View Post
    FaceBook Vid
    Havana (cover)
    "I thought I was just in a bad mood- but its been a few years ...so I guess that's who I am now"

    Comic Database: Steve Hughes... Offended?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHMoDt3nSHs











  5. #3305
    AVF Regular
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    victoria
    Posts
    5,672
    I apologise ahead of time some of these are tragic, racist and sexist - dont like it dont read em

    A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."



    Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
    Man: "Yes!"
    Reporter: "Name?"
    Man: "Abdul Al-
    Rhazim."
    Reporter: "Sex?"
    Man: "Three to five times a week."
    Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
    Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
    Reporter: "Holy cow!"
    Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
    Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
    Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
    Reporter: "Oh dear!"
    Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."



    A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said "I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!" He said, "Explain the kids!"



    There was an old couple laying in bed. The man turns and tells the woman, "If you want to have sex, pull on my **** once. If you don't want to have sex, pull on my **** one hundred times."



    Q: Why is sex like math?
    A: You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.


    I was sitting on my own in a restaurant, when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”



    . Q: Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?
    A: Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.

    Q: Did you hear about the guy who ran in-front of the bus?
    A: He got tired



    Q: Why Are crippled people always picked on?
    A: Because they can’t stand up for themselves

    Q: What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
    A: Crabs on your organ.



    Q: What kind of bees produce milk?
    A: Boobies
    ausguitarman, SubyXV and emu like this.
    "I thought I was just in a bad mood- but its been a few years ...so I guess that's who I am now"

    Comic Database: Steve Hughes... Offended?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHMoDt3nSHs











 

 

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