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Thread: Just replied to one those "I love you" Spam emails :)

  1. #1
    AVF Newbie | Be nice to me
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    Nov 2017
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    Just replied to one those "I love you" Spam emails :)

    I don't know about you guys, but I've been getting these spam emails for years. You know, the one's usually from Russia, where you have seemingly caught the attention of a total stranger who is desperate for love and goes on to flatter you, in what could almost pass as English. What I find most odd is they will usually open the conversation with "you are so handsome" or "I miss you" which I find to be the most blatant and obvious indication that it's a farce.

    I had originally planned to finish my reply with a snarky reveal that would question their morals for preying on lonely and volatile people, but thought it would probably be more fun to see what kind of reaction I got first. I also wanted to see just how callous and emotionally detached these people really are.

    A word of warning to those who get repulsed or nauseous from all that Lovey-dovey talk. This will probably have you regurgitating coffee all over your keyboard.

    Here is the spam email I received:

    Hi, my love! I want to wake up with you every morning, share my day, my thoughts and emotions with you only.
    Miss you so much! I am looking forward to your letter.
    My reply:

    "Veronika, my darling, my super sweet love-bunny. How I have missed you! The nights grow long and cold without your warm embrace. I want you next to me, your body tightly against mine. I want to stare into your bright beautiful eyes and run my fingers through your hair. I want to hold you so delicately while my hand caresses your cheek. I don't ever want to let you go my angel. I can feel your heart beat next to mine, I feel your beautiful soul within me, it shines so brightly, glowing warm with love and compassion. I see the kindness in your eyes, I see a pure and honest soul, I see unending love and beauty and it burns like the brightest star in the universe, so powerful yet so fragile. All the love I have I give to you, I want to be in your heart forever. Let us share the joy and love in life.

    You are so charming and so very beautiful. You are so special to me! I live only to hold you and never let you go. I want to sink into your arms and feel your loving energy around me always. I want us to get lost in a never-ending dream of love and passion. My darling, my angel, I-LOVE-YOU!

    I am so sad without you, I want to be there to protect you. I want to touch you softly. I want to smell your lovely scent as I kiss you all over. My heart feels so fragile, like it's about to explode, it aches for your love. I am scared that you will hurt me and destroy my heart. Please don't hurt me my love."


    I wonder if I'll even get a reply. Maybe that was a bit too intense for Him/Her ?

  2. #2
    AVF Regular
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    Jan 2016
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    Copied for my wife for the next time I spend too much on vaping...
    gtadmin, Misohoni, CCVaper and 5 others like this.

  3. #3
    AVF Newbie | Be nice to me
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    Quote Originally Posted by act180 View Post
    Copied for my wife for the next time I spend too much on vaping...
    Haha, just don't read it next to her, she might throw up on you!
    act180 likes this.

  4. #4
    Super Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Neophyte King View Post
    I don't know about you guys, but I've been getting these spam emails for years. You know, the one's usually from Russia, where you have seemingly caught the attention of a total stranger who is desperate for love and goes on to flatter you, in what could almost pass as English. What I find most odd is they will usually open the conversation with "you are so handsome" or "I miss you" which I find to be the most blatant and obvious indication that it's a farce.

    I had originally planned to finish my reply with a snarky reveal that would question their morals for preying on lonely and volatile people, but thought it would probably be more fun to see what kind of reaction I got first. I also wanted to see just how callous and emotionally detached these people really are.

    A word of warning to those who get repulsed or nauseous from all that Lovey-dovey talk. This will probably have you regurgitating coffee all over your keyboard.

    Here is the spam email I received:



    My reply:

    "Veronika, my darling, my super sweet love-bunny. How I have missed you! The nights grow long and cold without your warm embrace. I want you next to me, your body tightly against mine. I want to stare into your bright beautiful eyes and run my fingers through your hair. I want to hold you so delicately while my hand caresses your cheek. I don't ever want to let you go my angel. I can feel your heart beat next to mine, I feel your beautiful soul within me, it shines so brightly, glowing warm with love and compassion. I see the kindness in your eyes, I see a pure and honest soul, I see unending love and beauty and it burns like the brightest star in the universe, so powerful yet so fragile. All the love I have I give to you, I want to be in your heart forever. Let us share the joy and love in life.

    You are so charming and so very beautiful. You are so special to me! I live only to hold you and never let you go. I want to sink into your arms and feel your loving energy around me always. I want us to get lost in a never-ending dream of love and passion. My darling, my angel, I-LOVE-YOU!

    I am so sad without you, I want to be there to protect you. I want to touch you softly. I want to smell your lovely scent as I kiss you all over. My heart feels so fragile, like it's about to explode, it aches for your love. I am scared that you will hurt me and destroy my heart. Please don't hurt me my love."

    P.S. Sadly I am destined to be apart from you, my Love Muffin, when my soul aches for your touch and my ears burn for your whispers, you can change that dear beloved Veronika, all I need is an airfare and I can be by your side forever..... I have always longed to live in a cabin in the depths of the Siberian wilderness, just you and me and the bitter bitter cold, with only our love to keep us warm ... help me emigrate to your side... a ticket and expenses are only 30,000 roubles , a pittance really considering our future happiness... My Paypal is SiberianLostWanderer@gimmecash.com ... please help me to be by your side ...I love you my Babushka!!!


    I wonder if I'll even get a reply. Maybe that was a bit too intense for Him/Her ?
    I love it but I just had to fix it up a bit for you
    EPM V2-18490 (X2 ),GP Spheroid V2.5 and GP Piccolo V2.5 ,BBCB, Provari mini's, REO mini V2.1, 18490 REO , Jazz Carto Pipes ( fitted with GA tank and churchwarden stem Totally Evil!!! ), Meerschaum pipe ,e-holly35W,Phideas, AIOS,Taifun atties, PC Pipe mods.PC Squonker, Svapiamo squonker, GP Paps Heron combo.

    Vaping since 2007 totally smoke free since 2011


    AVF Rules , Read and understand them

  5. #5
    AVF Regular
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    Nov 2013
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    Quote Originally Posted by btobw View Post
    1 vote for DogMan because squonkers, dogs, chooks and brevity

  6. #6
    AVF Regular
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    Jan 2015
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    You mean they don't really love me? A bit harsh! But she said.......
    Most metaphors do not bear up to close scrutiny

    Killed the nails before they killed me. 10/02/15 Thanks immensely to AVFers!

 

 

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