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Thread: PIF Taifun GS Clone

  1. #1
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    PIF Taifun GS Clone

    Hi all. I was recently gifted the above mentioned atty to learn about coil building. I have to thank the lovely Crisscross again for her generosity. I think it is best for me to now return her generous gesture and pass it on. I've actually fallen in love with it so I have to do it now before I allow myself to develop "preciousitis". It will be cleaned and sterilised before I post it out. There will be no charge to the recipient at all. Postage is on me.
    I dare say it is obvious that I would prefer to send this little beauty on to someone who has limited to no experience with coil building. Do your research guys and make sure you have the basic equipment and knowledge of coil wrapping and battery safety. Anyway, on to the fun part (you didn't think it would be easy did you?)
    I have selected the names Horatio and Lorenzo. Type up a two - three paragraph post on their adventures. There is no need to delve into your own experiences but feel free to (just make sure to use the two names given). The post that makes me laugh the most wins. Yay! Put your thinking caps on and make me giggle. I hope to send it off on tuesday so time is limited. The winner will be decided by myself monday night after 8pm.

  2. #2
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    There seems to be zero interest just now so I will try again closer to the week end. Mods, feel free to delete this thread if you wish.

  3. #3
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    Ffs if you want to pif, then pif that would be much better recieved.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by steve.c View Post
    Ffs if you want to pif, then pif that would be much better recieved.
    mate hes having a bit of fun with it, no need to get narkey.
    hes giving away something for nothing (and paying for postage) and all he wants out of it is a laugh i thik thats fair
    Trinity likes this.

    Quick Robin to the VapeCave

  5. #5
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    Its a free country i suppose. I just think if your giving away something, then give it away dont ask people to perform for it. Hed be better off chosing one of the new members and offering it as an intro to rba's. Sorry if i was a bit narky.

  6. #6
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    Damn, missed out on this when crisscross was giving it away


    It all started when our hyphen-happy protagonist, Horatio, woke up in a disease-infested jungle. It was the fourth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly concerned, Horatio backhanded a ninja star, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved nicotine was missing! Immediately he called his enemy in training, Lorenzo. Horatio had known Lorenzo for (plus or minus) one million years, the majority of which were curious ones. Lorenzo was unique. He was intelligent though sometimes a little... stupid. Horatio called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

    Lorenzo picked up to a very glad Horatio. Lorenzo calmly assured him that most man-eating capybaras belch before mating, yet Indonesian devil cats usually earnestly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Horatio. Why was Lorenzo trying to distract Horatio? Because he had snuck out from Horatio's with the nicotine only nine days prior. It was a flamboyant little nicotine... how could he resist?

    It didn't take long before Horatio got back to the subject at hand: his nicotine. Lorenzo panicked. Relunctantly, Lorenzo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the nicotine. Horatio grabbed his George Foreman grill and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Lorenzo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the nicotine and he had to do it aggressively. He figured that if Horatio took the pimp fresh, candy-painted 'Lac, he had take at least four minutes before Horatio would get there. But if he took the The Vapemobile? Then Lorenzo would be exceedingly screwed.

    Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Lorenzo was interrupted by ten stupid sloths that were lured by his nicotine. Lorenzo belched; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling relieved, he fearlessly reached for his gerbil and aptly attacked every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the swamp, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the The Vapemobile rolling up. It was Horatio.

    ----o0o----

    As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at McDonald's to pick up a 12-pack of ninja stars, so he knew he was running late. With a heroic leap, Horatio was out of the The Vapemobile and went flamboyantly jaunting toward Lorenzo's front door. Meanwhile inside, Lorenzo was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the nicotine into a box of wolverines and then slid the box behind his hippopotamus. Lorenzo was frustrated but at least the nicotine was concealed. The doorbell rang.

    'Come in,' Lorenzo earnestly purred. With a quick push, Horatio opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some dimwitted beer-sloshed tool in a spaceship,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Lorenzo assured him. Horatio took a seat ridiculously far from where Lorenzo had hidden the nicotine. Lorenzo yawned trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Horatio was distracted. Suddenly inspired by the wise teachings of Confuscious, Lorenzo noticed a annoying look on Horatio's face. Horatio slowly opened his mouth to speak.

    '...What's that smell?'

    Lorenzo felt a stabbing pain in his prostate when Horatio asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the nicotine right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A stupid look started to form on Horatio's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's ripened avocados from when she used to have pet spotted wolf hamsters. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Horatio nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Lorenzo could react, Horatio thoughtfully lunged toward the box and opened it. The nicotine was plainly in view.

    Horatio stared at Lorenzo for what what must've been ten nanoseconds. A few freaknasty minutes later, Lorenzo groped indiscriminately in Horatio's direction, clearly desperate. Horatio grabbed the nicotine and bolted for the door. It was locked. Lorenzo let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Horatio,' he rebuked. Lorenzo always had been a little funny-smelling, so Horatio knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Lorenzo did something crazy, like... start chucking dull pencils at him or something. Like a drunken sailor at happy hour, he gripped his nicotine tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

    Lorenzo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Horatio. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame nine days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Horatio. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Lorenzo walked over to the window and looked down. Horatio was gone.

    ----o0o----

    Just yonder, Horatio was struggling to make his way through the swamp behind Lorenzo's place. Horatio had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral sloths suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the nicotine. One by one they latched on to Horatio. Already weakened from his injury, Horatio yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of sloths running off with his nicotine.

    About ten hours later, Horatio awoke, his armpit throbbing. It was dark and Horatio did not know where he was. Deep in the uninhabited foxy forest, Horatio was barely lost. Suddenly cheered up by the Hamtaro theme song, he remembered that his nicotine was taken by the sloths. But at that point, he was just thankful for his life. That's when, to his horror, a bloated sloth emerged from the imaginery desert. It was the alpha sloth. Horatio opened his mouth to scream but was cut short when the sloth sunk its teeth into Horatio's armpit. With a faint groan, the life escaped from Horatio's lungs, but not before he realized that he was a failure.

    Less than seven miles away, Lorenzo was entombed by anguish over the loss of the nicotine. 'MY PRECIOUS!!' he cried, as he reached for a sharpened dull pencil. With a calculated thrust, he buried it deeply into his ear. As the room began to fade to black, he thought about Horatio... wishing he had found the courage to tell him that he loved him. But he would die alone that day. All that remained was the nicotine that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant sloths, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'(
    mrs308hjute and Minnaz like this.

  7. #7
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    ^ WFT, and I thought my dreams were crazy.


  8. #8
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    OH MY FUKING GOD where do you come up with this shit?????

    That was just fukin AWSOMENESS!!!!

    Quick Robin to the VapeCave

  9. #9
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    Bahahahaha. I want what he's vaping! Not my call but based on effort alone just to come up with that one would think that was a winner.
    -Last Analogue-
    Thursday 24-04-2014 @ 4:00pm

  10. #10
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    I'm glad I checked the forum this morning. So worth it. PM your address details please shaitan667. I will clean it up and send it off today or tomorrow for you ☺ Thanks for starting my day with a smile.

    I knew this idea of mine would about some. The ones who put in an effort really want the damn thing. Anyone can call dibs on a freebie, but if there is any effort needed for something you don't want, most will simply avoid it.
    giruvian and Trinity like this.

 

 
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